So, you’re here because you were at a convention and got a free copy of the Potlatch? Or you purchased a copy of the Potlatch Infestation mini-comic? Maybe you were just curious about the link on the Squid Works home page? Listen closely, because ALL of you could be affected…
Okay, so maybe “listen” wasn’t the optimal choice of words on my part, since this is on-screen text.
At any rate, your situation could be dire.
Ralph Crammestrand of San Jose, California found out the hard way. He got a free copy of the Potlatch in 2005 at the San Diego Comic Con for buying a 25 cent button from the my booth. After returning home and reading the book (and thoroughly enjoying it, might I add), he failed to make mention of his pleasurable reading experience to anyone! Within 72 hours, he’d simply wasted away his time watching The Ring on VHS, playing his Resident Evil 4 on his Nintendo Game Cube, eating delivery food, and sleeping. The next time he attempted to leave his house to buy toilet paper and deodorant, he was flayed in a strange, but extremely cruel runaway potato peeler accident. After long, painful skin graft surgery, he lay in intensive care for 4 days. That’s when the girl from The Ring climbed out of the TV set and killed him.
Bobby Silverston of Oak Park, Illinois found a copy of the Potlatch in the garbage can at the Wizard World Convention in Rosemont, Illinois in 2005. He witnessed Joe Kramer of Tinley Park, Illinois using it as a coaster at the snack bar and throw it out with his garbage. Silverston is now serving a life sentence in Cook County Prison for murdering Kramer with a corn dog stick.
Sarah Higgson-Minor of Trinidad, Colorado purchased a copy of the Potlatch Infestation after having received a free copy of the Potlatch at the 2005 Nan Desu Kan. Per the book’s warning, she visited the this website, perused the catalog and enjoyed many of the free webcomics. She e-mailed some of her friends and family about the great stuff on this site and purchased a copy of The Wang: Who’s Your Daddy? The next day, she found out that she had matched all six numbers in that evening’s $350 million dollar Powerball Lottery drawing. Little did she know that her e-mail account had been disabled by her ISP for attempting to e-mail too many people at once about the my site, and none of her e-mails got delivered. In addition, the check she deposited in her new PayPal account would not clear for 10 business days (240 hours!). Well, she soon discovered that her lottery ticket was actually for last week’s drawing, not this week’s. Happily, her check did clear, and she received her copy of The Wang: Who’s Your Daddy? … two days after she hung herself.
It is imperative that you contact no fewer than TEN of your friends, family, or other uncategorizable acquaintences and have them visit this webpage within the next 72 hours so you do not befall a similar fate!